PMS gum?

I'm a lady panda. And as such, that certain time of the month never fails to roll around eventually. Today I began searching the web for PMS remedies. I found a boring site where women gave each other lame advice like "take Advil" or "my Grams says to eat watermelon". Watermelon? Really? More water when you're already bloated? They seemed to be discussing pain mostly. But I was searching for something for my raging attitude problem.

I'm fairly vocal all the time, but at a certain phase of the moon, the cap pops off the pressure cooker and my tongue finds new ways to express my displeasure about just about everything. So I searched far and wide for a remedy for my smart mouth. What did I find?

 

Peppermint PMS gum

My fiance can tell when I'm about to flip out and casually reminds me, "It's just PMS, dear." But I haughtily reply, "No, it's not! It's YOU!" And at those moments it really does seem like he has conspired to do every single tiny thing that drives me batty. 

Instead of  accosting my dear Papa Bear I've discovered that fish oil supplements are purported to raise serotonin levels. Serotonin is the stuff in your brain that makes you feel relaxed and happy. With regular use mood swings should be stabilized. In addition to giving you a natural mood boost, fish oil improves the health of your blood cholesterol and your bones, and provides cancer protection. You can read all the details here.

Next month I'll be using this:

I'll let you know how it goes. 

Dare to be Glee-ful

I am obsessed with Glee, Fox's new runaway musical hit television show. Apparently I'm not the only one. First Lady Michelle Obama has requested the show's cast perform at the annual Easter Egg hunt at the White House. That's one bunny hop I'd love to attend.

And can you blame her?

Glee returns to Fox on April 13th.

Wedding Fails

So I'm engaged, right? There are so many stressful details to consider, not to mention to potentially astronomical expense, that Papa Bear and I have decided to have a really long engagement just to avoid having to make decisions for a while.

Still, I am a bride-to-be who is madly in love and I just can't help looking at bridal magazines and Say Yes to the Dress and theknot.com. Watching Platinum Weddings can make anyone think their wedding will be a piece of sad crap in comparison. So imagine my delight at viewing some weddings that will make mine look like Ivanka Trump's in relation. So today, I submit to you, dear reader, the 20 worst wedding fails EVER. Enjoy!

The Black Out

I woke up this morning in a bizarre mood. I felt blue as soon as I opened my eyes. Bored. I wandered listlessly around the house as Papa Bear, my darling fiance, got ready for work. I packed his lunch as he made his protein shake. Not having to work with my Mom today I asked what he thought I should do.

"Paint the living room?"

"No," I whined. "I can't reach the ceiling so whats the point?" I know he doesn't have the time to finish my painting job anytime soon. Sometimes it really works in my favor to only be 5 feet tall.

"How about you sand the staircase banister so you can stain it?"

"No. If I stain one thing then I have to do the kitchen cabinets and all the bathrooms too and I don't feel like it."

He rolled his eyes as he left for work. I ask for advice then don't want to follow it. Typical lazy Panda.

I had to admit my mood was restless. I felt unsatisfied. I had feelings, thoughts to get out somehow but I didn't exactly feel like painting or sanding (manually working) them out. I thought about a Facebook friend I have who has a beauty blog where she discusses the perfect foundation, handbags and her love of Penelope Cruz. That's the kind of girl she is. I realized I hadn't written anything significant in what felt like ages. So I decided to create a blog of my own, something that expresses the kind of girl I am.

I signed up for the blog, set all the features, uploaded some photos, queued up the new Sade album and was ready to go. All this took more than an hour since I am a typewriter kind of gal. I sat staring at the screen and typed "I", when all of a sudden **blink** the computer shut off. Really, it wasn't a blink at all but more of a huge whir as if the entire world had stopped and I realized that the electricity in the whole house had shut off.